hello

I realize I've been gone for a very long time. I've been writing elsewhere since my life has changed a bit, but I am feeling the need to revisit this space on occasions with my televisional ramblings and such. I do have another personal space out there I will share at some point, but I wanted to drop in, say hello, and tell you I will be posting all of my derranged How I Met Your Mother feelings probably later in the week.

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We're continuing the forgetful pattern here.



Monday: HIMYM and Mom both super feely.

Tuesday: New Girl and Mindy. Ho hum.

VERSUS // we're taking a train: sex and the city vs how i met your mother

I reached for this one, honestly. Probably because I really wanted to watch this episode of Sex and the City if we're being honest and I thought "ooh, trains!" and it was born.

TRAINS. Sex and the City took a trip to San Fran for a book tour in S05e11 The Big Journey and then How I Met Your Mother took a train to Long Island in S07E16 The Drunk Train.



Plot

In Sex and the City, as a part of her book tour, Carrie must adventure to San Francisco, way way way across the country. Instead of taking a plane like a normal human being, she opts for a long, several-day train ride. She drags the bored to tears Samantha along and soon find out that the train adventure is not what it seems. Carrie pops a zit, almost doesn't meet up with Big (one of her main reasons for agreeing to travel that far) and gets avoided at a bachelor party.

Now for How I Met Your Mother Barney feels that Ted owes him a favor so they hop upon the drunk train...the last train from Manhattan to Long Island that houses all of the drunks coming home from the city. Barney needs this adventure because he's recently met Quinn and has been very rejected. Ted realizes he doesn't really need to find the one and just wants to have fun until he (again) realizes he is still in love with Robin (aren't they all?).

Characters



Carrie Bradshaw vs Barney Stinson - the reason. This one is rather tough. Carrie isn't as excited as Barney is, however she has a longer journey to endure. For the sake of that, and the fact that she doesn't force Samantha into coming, just begs, it goes to Carrie.



Samantha Jones vs Ted Mosby - the tagalong. Again, tough. Samantha is on board until about 5 minutes in. Ted on the other hand is off board and then becomes on board. So Ted, I'll give it to you.

Breakdown

The Suggestion - Carrie uses Samantha's boredom as a bargaining tool and it totally works. Barney uses blackmail and it also totally works. Because I believe in subtle manipulation, Sex and the City for the win.

The Ride - Both train rides are hell but I would say without a stutter that the drunk train is worse. Sure, small quarters, a zit, a bachelor party full of faithful dudes sounds unappealing but compare all of that with drunk Jersey Shore kids and you've got a winner with HIMYM.

The Destination - Carrie gets to go to San Francisco to read from her PUBLISHED book of essays and see her longtime love Mr. Big. Barney gets to get laid. I'm taking the classy road with Sex and the City.

The winner here is Sex and the City and I'm not at all surprised. LADIES.

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TOTALLY SPACED LAST NIGHT.

That's okay, tv wasn't that interesting anyway.

Moving on.


Enjoying refreshing TaB's while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

So to recap HIMYM and Mom from Monday, Tuesday gave New Girl and Mindy.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Well the beginning of this week is quite heavy. Hostages, HIMYM and Mom all make an appearance.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

HIMYM and Hostages and a new Mom which I didn't plan on because my app lied.

before the tryptophan takes over...

In case you're not sick of Thanksgiving television yet, I have a few other randoms that you can watch to keep yourself occupied while everyone else is watching football. Just a few of my other favorites that may not fit a specific category.



Gilmore Girls - Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving
No one can really eat like a Gilmore girl so of course they have four dinners to attend. I wish I had their metabolism.

Full House - The Miracle Of Thanksgiving
The family's first Thanksgiving after losing Pam. It's really touching even if the turkey didn't turn out. Poor DJ.

Grey's Anatomy - Thanks For The Memories
When this show started I really liked Izzie and felt really bad that no one wanted to show up at her Thanksgiving. I think she was shafted and they all knew of her cooking skills so it surprises me that people weren't begging for an invite.

How I Met Your Mother - Belly Full Of Turkey, Slapsgiving, Slapsgiving 2: Revenge Of The Slap, Blitzgiving
Next to Friends, HIMYM really gets it right when it comes to Thanksgiving episodes. Waiting for a slap (a few times), The Blitz ruining the holiday by keeping everyone away from Ted's dinner and Barney donning an apron to feed the homeless. That's warm and fuzzy right there. And of course there is still an active countown to Slapsgiving even if it is overdue.

South Park - Helen Keller: The Musical!
It's exactly like it sounds.

Roswell - Max In The City
There isn't a lot of Thanksgiving in this episode but the fact that aliens ditch their human families to travel to NYC with duplicates of themselves and risk missing a festive meal keeps it on the list.

The OC - The Homecoming
Seth running around trying to please two ladies, Caleb Nichol (THE ULTIMATE) bringing home a busty blond to seduce Ryan just for Marissa to see! NO, but yes. Oh and the start of Kiki's boozy adventure with, one of my favorite TV lines of all-time, "FRESH MARGS!"

Saved By The Bell: The College Years - A Thanksgiving Story
Overall not sure you can go wrong with helping inner-city kids eat a Thanksgiving dinner complete with cameos from Jonathan Brandis, Jenna Von Oy, Brian Austin Green and Mr. Belding, all of which are still totally relevant. I may be the only one that loves the college years, but oh I do.

Felicity - Thanksgiving
The story of a girl named Felicity. Wants to go home, stays and drama ensues, including her making out with her spoken for RA!

Happy Turkey Day, I'll be off doing whathaveyou for the next few days and since the next few days doesn't have much tv I'll do a lovely post about it all probably Friday morning so enjoy REBECCA BLACK FRIDAY (of course I'll be back for that, duh, best holiday).

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Mom and HIMYM gave for some laughs, Hostages wasn't as hostage-y as Almost Human and I gave Getting On a shot.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

HIMYM, Mom, Hostages and then we take on some Almost Human. And by we I mean me.

Back at the bed and breakfast for HIMYM this week, bad. John Lithgow on HIMYM this week, good. It's a toss-up. Pineapple! I thought the moments between Loretta and Marshall were a nice distraction from revisiting the same place, and I can't say I didn't feel bad for William. I always did like him in The Karate Kid Part whatever.

In Hostages I'm sorry for "shipping" in a show that I probably shouldn't but I'm feelin' guy from Entourage (Kramer, I think) and girl who looks like Nikita but is apparently from House of Cards. They make the boring parts of this show not boring. It's a Dexter thing with me starting to like these bad people taking this family captive, but I don't care, I feel for them and I will continue to feel for them because I just have a lot of feelings. And what about that surprise twist ending? Looks like hostage dude took his date with the President's daughter way too seriously.

Mom. I still want the lady that isn't Janney and Octavia Spencer to be played by Catherine O'Hara and I'm still a little upset that she isn't. It was also rather touching this week. I mean typically you're laughing at Janney and rolling your eyes at Faris but I have to give Janney credit this week for turning it a bit and giving me some tears. Honestly, she had me going. Still hate Faris' white hair.

So tonight finished the two part premiere of Almost Human. Full disclosure, I didn't love the pilot, however I did enjoy the second part and I feel like I'll be giving it a shot. I like the coma guy and feel bad he missed out on several months and also missed out on a leg. Intrigued to see what's up with his girlfriend. I also like the idea of having an android for a partner. Like a Data (Star Trek) or a Kevin (Saved By The Bell, and can we talk about how Kevin is more emotionally advanced than Data was? Seriously, a nerdy high schooler built that, how is that even a thing?). All in all I'd say I think it's got potential for me to like it so we'll give it a shot. I think the Android and the cop man have decent chemistry that could become good chemistry and then so on and so forth. Yeehaw.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

HIMYM is working really hard at redeeming itself in my eyes, this episode has been the best of the season. Hostages is keeping me nervous and Mom is still solid. All in all a good Monday.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

HIMYM aka Wow Could It Take Any Longer To Get To The End Of This Freaking Thing, the Mom show that is apparently doing better than Hostages, which is also on tonight.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Monday was pretty progressive. HIMYM was a little on the eh side, just have the mother show up already come on. There is a mom but she is on Mom and I met her on the very first episode. Hostages just keeps creeping me out more and more but I can't stop watching. And now that I'm on the current season of Downton...

halloween done right - television edition duh

Growing up it was about the sitcom. TGIF on Friday's (obviously), reruns of basically everything from 1992 and before after school and endless hours of The Simspsons, me not appreciating Seinfeld and being upset that Frasier pushed back The Golden Girls back an hour on Lifetime. Sitcoms knew how to rock the Halloween special. Now most television bothers too much with "story lines" and "avoiding plot holes" so it's hard to make a good Halloween or even Christmas episode lately. There are some classics that can't be touched, and a few newer shows that have carried on the tradition.


From youtube.

We always start with the King. The Jaguar of Halloween television, Home Improvement. There are too many to narrow down, I feel that all of these episodes should be individually celebrated but really, who has the time? SEVEN Halloween specials. SEVEN out of EIGHT seasons had one (shame on you season 1). So to rattle off, the quintessential Haunting of Taylor House. Brad as Raggedy Andy only to be ditched by Jennifer and Rider Strong. Jill as a freaking CARROT, the atom boy and Al's head in a toolbox. Yes.

And the rest in order of best to worst, because obviously Haunting of Taylor House is the best: A Night To Dismember (gothic Mark), Crazy For You (crazy stalker lady), Betwitched (Wilson's witchy date), I Was a Teenage Taylor (mainly for the Buzz/Simba reference), Let Them Eat Cake (pumpkin Wilson, and the honestly pretty boring Borland Ambiton (golf attire).


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Frasier was a big fan of THEME PARTIES. First, in Halloween, Niles hosted a party and asked everyone to come dressed as a character from literature. In Room Full Of Heroes, Frasier has everyone dress up as their, well, heroes. And then in Tales From The Crypt, they just all play some pranks. Not your best, Frasier.


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Now Roseanne does have one more Halloween special than Home Improvement so I'm fine with dubbing her the queen. Trick or Treat messed with gender roles, Halloween IV was probably my favorite with a sort of Christmas Carol vibe (they did it before Tim Burton. Or did they? Someone look that up) and I cannot leave out The Final Chapter because hello, she names her baby after Jerry Garcia.


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One show that usually nailed it on the Halloween front was The Office. Let's take the time to admire Jim Halpert's amazing costume choices. Jim successfully pulled off Bookface, three-hole-punch Jim, Dave and Popeye (once he became married and boring). I can also commend Michael Scott's paper mache twin head, the multiple Joker costumes (RIP Heath) and that one time Ryan went as Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. Though Kelly Kapoor pulling off Carrie Bradshaw was also very astonishing.


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There have been a few great costumes and recurring story lines revolving around Halloween in How I Met Your Mother but really the ones worth mentioning are The Slutty Pumpkin in season 1 and The Slutty Pumpkin Returns in season 7 (and she returned again briefly LAST WEEK). Ted met a slutty pumpkin in 2001 and every Halloween he waits for her at the rooftop party. She doesn't show up again until 2007 (good job losing her phone number there buddy). That's a long time to wait and go figure she isn't even the mother, but she's Katie Holmes and she loves Barenaked Ladies. Deal breaker.

Now just wait until Christmas.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Mondays. Now that We Are Men got the axe, it's just How I Met Your Mother, Mom and Hostages. All good in my opinion therefore I always look forward to having a case of the Monday's.

I'm funny.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

This week, Jordan drinks TaB shows up EVERY MORNING (there's a halo hanging from the corner of my girlfriends four post bed), because reasons. Head after the jump for the recap. Spoilers obv.

i haven't slept in a week

*Slight spoilers if you're not current on a lot of television

Sunday was the first day this entire week that I was able to get a full eight hours of sleep. I went to bed semi-early, and slept in all the way until nine am. That doesn't happen. I'm up at seven thirty whether I have to be or not, it's something I struggle with. I know, I know, it's a difficult ailment but I'm doing my best. I appreciate all concern.

The reason I have been lacking in slumber is really silly. It isn't homework or actual work, for that matter. It isn't that I'm sick or depressed or actively writing the next great American novel (but I should be). It's because this week the majority of the television I've followed for years has began and I have entirely too much to watch that it takes me forever to catch up.

In past years, the plan has been to watch some when it airs live, then finish up the rest streaming at work the next morning (*I feel I must say that I do work while at work. One of the things about my day job is that if there is downtime we can stream Hulu or watching DVD's as long as they're considered appropriate (no boobs)). However as of late, day job has been uncommonly busy for this time of year so I've gotten used to not having any downtime. That poses a little bit of a problem due to the fact that on a given night I have at least two things to catch up on, and this year, of the fourteenish shows that I actively watch, six of them are on Thursday nights (Grey's Anatomy, The Crazy Ones, Glee, The Michael J Fox Show, The Big Bang Theory, Parenthood) so basically that took me all weekend. I really appreciate the stations making Grey's Anatomy two hours, and MJF and Big Bang Theory an hour. That didn't help.

Monday it was an hour of How I Met Your Mother which was completely worth it because of THE MOTHER. I gave Hostages a shot, because hello Tate Donovan. Mom was pretty good as well, you can't go wrong with Allison Janney. You just can't. So sleep came at about midnight.

Tuesday I have New Girl and sort of The Mindy Project but I'm honestly not really committed to either. I'm sorry, I am one of the few that just really does not enjoy Zooey Deschanel unless she is singing, because then she is amazing. But other than that, I'm just over it. However Schmidt is the sole reason to watch that show. And maybe Winston. Tuesday wasn't bad, I think I fell asleep about eleven.

Wednesday brought Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Fifteen freaking seasons and this show is still pulling strong and this premiere was no exception. I had a bit of a life on Wednesday night so I didn't get to it until later and it, of course, was two hours, but totally worth it. Probably the best premiere I witnessed this season hands down (#savebenson). That took me well into one in the morning, but again, TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Thursday, as I mentioned, was a bit of a nightmare. I got through two shows before I had no choice but to crash, so Thursday's collection carried on through Saturday and finally on Sunday morning I got my Friday's in, Shark Tank and Masterchef Juniors. Both reality and amazing though I think I'm more excited to see pretentious foodies helping kids learn to plate shrimp than a bunch of billionaires try to find the next big thing (though that breathalizer app was pretty badass).

Sunday, the day of rest, carries Revenge one that again, I'm not too invested in anymore, however I'm really eager to see how it's all going to end, so I press on. The life I lead, the sacrifices I make. Sunday also carries Breaking Bad BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT NOW. We just aren't. And that clearly will not be an issue any more.

And oh! Game Of Thrones and Girls will be back and that will just continue to add more. But it's like crack, it's addicting and I like it. I thrive on it, actually.

But for now, the week is over. It's over, finally and shows will no longer be two hours, and I'll be able to start getting into a routine and go about life the way that I live it. I love television and I love writing about it. I love critiquing it and I love being surprised by it, so I make the time. It's my baseball. It's my video games. It's also my book club and a comfort object. If I would write television from Utah I would apply in a heart beat, but for now I will remain a spectator because it's still a really good place to be. Even if all I want to do is take a week to recover and just fall asleep.

*This post was sponsored by grammarly.

it's friday, friday

I may be a little late on the How I Met Your Mother bandwagon, but today you can enjoy my favorite song of the week. Let's Go To The Mall by Canadian pop-star Robin Sparkles.

It's what it's all aboot.