jordan drinks tab

SVU from Wednesday with Thursday and the Sean Saves The World, The Michael J Fox Show, Parenthood and hey, Reign is back!

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Stevie Nicks on Coven and the best SVU I may have ever seen (or close), it was a good night.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Especially enjoying Coven and I'll admit maybe not my favorite SVU of this (solid) season but still rocked.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while induldging in some really good and really bad television.

One of the best SVU's of the season, and we all know they're KILLING it so that says a lot. And then there's Coven...

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Happy hump day, y'all. SVU surprised the hell out of me and I'm honestly not sure if I will make it through this season of Coven but praise baby Jesus, it was renewed for Season 4!

how to make a halloween costume with little effort, some creativity and just praying that people watch as much television as you do

You have two days left to come up with a good costume. All of the Heisenberg's and the Daenarys's are taken and you need something clever in a hurry. RIGHT. Well I came across this photo on the Huffington Post's TV tumblr and it gave me a few ideas.



How easy/fun is that? Most people know the Cheers credits, and there are a few others out there you could replicate as well that would be fairly well known.



1. "Executive Producer Vince Gilligan" - since Breaking Bad is still hot right now and it's easier and more out there than just being Heisenberg. Unless you're a sexy Heisenberg.



2. "Executive Producer Dick Wolf" - who hasn't seen at least one variation of the multiple variations of Law & Order?

3. Why not just wear a black t-shirt (as seen above, but without the caption) and go as the infamous Soprano's ending? Just make sure you crank some Journey.

That's a good start, right? You can always get slightly more creative when it comes down to it.

4. Be completely animated in only 6-second intervals and just go as a Vine video. Namely a Chris D'Elia or a Batdad video because they are the best.

Okay step it up just sliiightly more.

5. Dress yourself in blue and be meth. Yes, I went there, be meth from Breaking Bad and extra points for crystalizing yourself in any way or wrapping yourself in a plastic bag. And if you have leftover plastic why not lend it to a friend...?

6. ...so they can go as a Dexter victim, even a sexy Dexter victim because obviously you're wearing plastic. More extra points for blood.

7. Why not just find something of a period piece and go as a victim of Game Of Throne's Red Wedding? Wait for it...OF COURSE EXTRA POINTS FOR BLOOD AGAIN!

8. Or the last one, the easiest of all of them. Print out a piece of paper that says "muggle". Wrap around neck. Easy enough, just don't blame me if someone dressed as Draco Malfoy calls you names. But you're an adult and you can take it, right?

9. And out of all of the wrecking ball costume attempts (including the pug we all love) this human variation may be my favorite.



This and other wrecking ball ideas found here.

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Wedneday's may be a bit on the slower side but at the same time they're my favorite night because I probably enjoy SVU and Coven more than anything else that I watch. And how about that new show @midnight?

jordan drinks tab

Enjoying refreshing TaB's, while indulging in some really good and really bad television.

Wednesday brings us SVU, Coven and some new show called Reign that based on the commercial I heard on the radio this morning, reminded me of a teen Game of Thrones so of course I am in, but I won't get to actually view it until Thursday (oh the perils).
Correction: Apparently Reign is on Thursdays? My bad.

i haven't slept in a week

*Slight spoilers if you're not current on a lot of television

Sunday was the first day this entire week that I was able to get a full eight hours of sleep. I went to bed semi-early, and slept in all the way until nine am. That doesn't happen. I'm up at seven thirty whether I have to be or not, it's something I struggle with. I know, I know, it's a difficult ailment but I'm doing my best. I appreciate all concern.

The reason I have been lacking in slumber is really silly. It isn't homework or actual work, for that matter. It isn't that I'm sick or depressed or actively writing the next great American novel (but I should be). It's because this week the majority of the television I've followed for years has began and I have entirely too much to watch that it takes me forever to catch up.

In past years, the plan has been to watch some when it airs live, then finish up the rest streaming at work the next morning (*I feel I must say that I do work while at work. One of the things about my day job is that if there is downtime we can stream Hulu or watching DVD's as long as they're considered appropriate (no boobs)). However as of late, day job has been uncommonly busy for this time of year so I've gotten used to not having any downtime. That poses a little bit of a problem due to the fact that on a given night I have at least two things to catch up on, and this year, of the fourteenish shows that I actively watch, six of them are on Thursday nights (Grey's Anatomy, The Crazy Ones, Glee, The Michael J Fox Show, The Big Bang Theory, Parenthood) so basically that took me all weekend. I really appreciate the stations making Grey's Anatomy two hours, and MJF and Big Bang Theory an hour. That didn't help.

Monday it was an hour of How I Met Your Mother which was completely worth it because of THE MOTHER. I gave Hostages a shot, because hello Tate Donovan. Mom was pretty good as well, you can't go wrong with Allison Janney. You just can't. So sleep came at about midnight.

Tuesday I have New Girl and sort of The Mindy Project but I'm honestly not really committed to either. I'm sorry, I am one of the few that just really does not enjoy Zooey Deschanel unless she is singing, because then she is amazing. But other than that, I'm just over it. However Schmidt is the sole reason to watch that show. And maybe Winston. Tuesday wasn't bad, I think I fell asleep about eleven.

Wednesday brought Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. Fifteen freaking seasons and this show is still pulling strong and this premiere was no exception. I had a bit of a life on Wednesday night so I didn't get to it until later and it, of course, was two hours, but totally worth it. Probably the best premiere I witnessed this season hands down (#savebenson). That took me well into one in the morning, but again, TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Thursday, as I mentioned, was a bit of a nightmare. I got through two shows before I had no choice but to crash, so Thursday's collection carried on through Saturday and finally on Sunday morning I got my Friday's in, Shark Tank and Masterchef Juniors. Both reality and amazing though I think I'm more excited to see pretentious foodies helping kids learn to plate shrimp than a bunch of billionaires try to find the next big thing (though that breathalizer app was pretty badass).

Sunday, the day of rest, carries Revenge one that again, I'm not too invested in anymore, however I'm really eager to see how it's all going to end, so I press on. The life I lead, the sacrifices I make. Sunday also carries Breaking Bad BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT NOW. We just aren't. And that clearly will not be an issue any more.

And oh! Game Of Thrones and Girls will be back and that will just continue to add more. But it's like crack, it's addicting and I like it. I thrive on it, actually.

But for now, the week is over. It's over, finally and shows will no longer be two hours, and I'll be able to start getting into a routine and go about life the way that I live it. I love television and I love writing about it. I love critiquing it and I love being surprised by it, so I make the time. It's my baseball. It's my video games. It's also my book club and a comfort object. If I would write television from Utah I would apply in a heart beat, but for now I will remain a spectator because it's still a really good place to be. Even if all I want to do is take a week to recover and just fall asleep.

*This post was sponsored by grammarly.

lets watch law and order: svu mmkay

Just FYI, I had to screencap this from hulu so make sure you take the time to appreciate the lovely YOU ARE WATCHING SVU text in the corner, it's my favorite. *Update: I figured out how to make it go away, but I kept the first one because it's amazing.

Today we will review the Law & Order: SVU episode from season 10 featuring Hillary Duff as Casey Anthony. Sort of. It's called Selfish.

It all begins, like every Law & Order: SVU episode...


In the criminal justice system, sexually-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.
DUN DUN.

So there is a disclaimer given at the beginning of basically every episode: The following story is fictional and does not depict any acutal person or event.

Let's start there. I'm sorry but this episode is about Casey Anthony. It has to be, there is no other explanation.

Cut to the police precinct...Detective Stabler (Chris Meloni) heaves a sign of relief that his mountain of paperwork is complete. Now he and Detective Benson (Mariska Hargitay) can leave early.

Just as they're putting on their coats a ranting blond lady (not Duff) wanders in advising she needs to speak with Special Victims or "special cops" as she says. The day is never over.

She believes that her granddaughter Sierra is in danger. Her mother (Ashley, played by Duff) went to Atlantic City for the weekend, borrowed ranting ladies car and upon returning it she said it smelled like a dead body. Good job because I have no idea what a dead body smells like.

They track down Duff (I don't need to call her Ashley, we'll just call her Duff) and see her cleaning out the trunk. She explains that it smells weird because there was meat they were going to cook that spoiled and everything checks out. She says Sierra is with her sitter Maria, at her apartment that Duff has never been to (because you leave your kids with strangers, that makes sense).

Turns out, to no ones surprise, that "Maria" gave a fake address and does not live there. The only "Maria" anyone knows is the creepy lady that carries a doll around in Central Park, but we'll get to that.

The two "cool" detectives, Munch and Ice-T (Detective Tutuola, but Ice-T is more refreshing) get a lead on a baby in a car that matches Maria's car's description. It's not Sierra obviously because then the episode would be over.

They find crazy Maria in the park. She is convinced her doll is a real baby. They think Maria stole Sierra. Maria did not steal Sierra. Maria is actually telling the truth. She really cares about her doll.

So Stabler uncovers a receipt signed by Maria where the purchase is a shovel. Maria claims it is not her signature and that her visa is missing. This is true. Security footage show Duff buying the shovel. Clear as day.

Duff continues to deny that anything happened, that she has absoultely no idea what is going on...then she cracks and admits she did buy the shovel, but it was a gift for her dad.

Awesome DA Alex Cabot takes on the case as Duff lawyers up with Annie Potts from Designing Women. Stabler and Benson visit Duff's dad who has the shovel...with fresh soil and chemicals from a gas station!

Our first lead!

Duff is losing points here rapidly, have you been following along?

So Stabler gets info out of Duff's dad that she has a special place he used to pick her up when she was done partying which was near a gas station. Lo and behold they find the body buried in the soild in this abandoned field. Good job Casey, I mean Duff. Now your story has completely unravelled.

After Duff is denied bail, the medical examiner has reached a conclusion on cause of death. Not death by Duff, but death by measels.

Now this is where the story turns away from the Anthony case, basically it turns into "Vaccinate by 2, it's up to you" propoganda. Duff never vaccinated Sierra...she says she was crying and all of a sudden became quiet, Duff didn't know what to do and when she stopped breathing she wanted to cover up everything and buried her.

Turns out that Sierra had contracted measels from a kid at the playground that has been spreading the disease around. Benson and Stabler meet with the mother of infecto child and she says she doesn't believe in vaccinating. Now it becomes a case of "choice." Of course Duff and ranting lady now want to take on the mother to get Duff off the hook.

Now at trial, the jury returns with a not guilty verdict for infecto mom. This peeves off Duff & Co and they proceed to settle it like adults and throw a brick through her window. Once they arrive at the scene they see Duff, her mother and father rush into the apartment, where Duff's dad proceeds to shoot himself...which really sucks because he was the only one that actually seemed to care about Sierra.

And thus it is over, and honestly I believe Duff did a good job. She was believable in the role if that is even possible...well yeah, it was.