VERSUS // holiday lighting contests: home improvement vs family matters

There are a number of sitcoms that do up Christmas right. So many in fact that it was hard to choose. I finally settled on these two per my love of Christmas lights. I thought no one compared to Tim Taylor in the spirit of this festive competition but I think Carl Winslow may have given him a run for his money.

Home Improvement started the competition in their first season with Yule Better Watch Out (S01E12). In Family Matters seventh season they joined in with Fa La La La Laagghh (S07E11).



Plot

We all know Tim the Tool Man Taylor from Home Improvement. Tim is an avid competitor and also fancies himself a tool connoisseur (why else would he host a tool show?), however this often gets him into trouble. Christmas is no exception. Tim wants to outdo his neighbor, retired physician "Doc Johnson" in the rooftop lighting decorating. While they never speak of an official competition, I'm guessing it's implied. Of course in years past he's been sent to the ER so Jill wants nothing to do with it. He ignores her objections, borrows crap from Wilson (that Wilson didn't already lend to the doctor) and goes about his festivities. Of course he gets his tongue stuck to a hammer, the power goes out a few times, and things get messy. The firefighters only have to come once and in true Taylor/Griswald fashion the lights are spectacular and Tim feels he's dominated. Jill distracts herself with making Randy's costume for the nativity play (he's the Innkeeper until he's demoted to sheep). Meanwhile Mark is starting to not believe in Santa with help from his brothers, Brad and Randy. Jill is upset that her kids are starting to grow up and wants to keep the magic alive just a little bit longer. Wilson dresses as Santa to renew Mark's spirit and the Taylor's realize that Wilson is actually in his yard as Santa leaves, sort of restoring all of their spirits.

Family Matters takes the route of the man of the house, Carl, not really caring much about decorating until he learns from his poker buddies of the $5000 prize for the best roof. Knowing very well that Urkel has wanted to decorate but hates competing (he feels it diminishes the meaning of Christmas) Carl tricks him into decorating anyway to try and win the prize. At the last minute things start to fall apart and Carl and Urkel themselves have to dress up to play the part of Santa and the elves. It's then that Urkel realizes that he's been tricked, only to also realize that their decorations are too heavy and they fall through the roof. Carl apologizes and all is well. Harriet keeps trying to get her kids, Eddie and Laura to help her decorate the tree. It's really important to her but they're growing up and too busy. It takes a talk from Grandma and them being denied her perfect gingerbread cookies for them to accept that this means a lot to their mother and they end up un-decorating and re-decorating the tree to let their mom know that it's special to them as well.

Characters



Tim Taylor vs Carl Winslow - The competitor. Both are pretty aggressive so it's a tough call. I think though I will go with Tim on this one because he doesn't do as much trickery. I mean, he goes behind Jill's back, but I'm pretty confident that she knows he's doing it the whole time. On the other hand, Carl lies to Urkel and Urkel believes him up until the end. NOT COOL.



Jill Taylor vs Harriet Winslow - The sad mother. I will go with Harriet on this one. Jill is sad about her kids, but she is still distracted making costumes for Randy. Harriet's kids are a lot older and they have their own lives. She seems genuinely upset that they aren't in on the festivities with her anymore.



The Taylor kids vs The Winslow kids - The grown-ups. The Winslow kids have this one in the bag. They're too busy to help their poor mother decorate and that's all she asks. They learn the best lesson being jipped their Grandma's cookies. As for the Taylor boys, Randy and Brad don't learn much in terms of a lesson but Mark's Christmas spirit is restored.

Breakdown

The decorating - It has to be Home Improvement. He is the king of this sort of thing, I can't not give it to him. He also had all the props, he didn't have to stand in himself.

The lies - Family Matters. Carl takes the deception to a whole new level with how he tricks Urkel. Like I said, I'm pretty confident that Jill knows what's going on the entire time so there wasn't much of a lie.

The true meaning of Christmas - Home Improvement. Both were really touching but Wilson/Not Wilson showing up at the last minute and even convincing Tim and Jill he was the real Santa? That's a big deal, I almost expected someone's eye to twinkle.

IT IS A TIE. That's okay, both of these were too good to have one winner, so because it's the holidays we'll leave it a tie.

halloween done right - television edition duh

Growing up it was about the sitcom. TGIF on Friday's (obviously), reruns of basically everything from 1992 and before after school and endless hours of The Simspsons, me not appreciating Seinfeld and being upset that Frasier pushed back The Golden Girls back an hour on Lifetime. Sitcoms knew how to rock the Halloween special. Now most television bothers too much with "story lines" and "avoiding plot holes" so it's hard to make a good Halloween or even Christmas episode lately. There are some classics that can't be touched, and a few newer shows that have carried on the tradition.


From youtube.

We always start with the King. The Jaguar of Halloween television, Home Improvement. There are too many to narrow down, I feel that all of these episodes should be individually celebrated but really, who has the time? SEVEN Halloween specials. SEVEN out of EIGHT seasons had one (shame on you season 1). So to rattle off, the quintessential Haunting of Taylor House. Brad as Raggedy Andy only to be ditched by Jennifer and Rider Strong. Jill as a freaking CARROT, the atom boy and Al's head in a toolbox. Yes.

And the rest in order of best to worst, because obviously Haunting of Taylor House is the best: A Night To Dismember (gothic Mark), Crazy For You (crazy stalker lady), Betwitched (Wilson's witchy date), I Was a Teenage Taylor (mainly for the Buzz/Simba reference), Let Them Eat Cake (pumpkin Wilson, and the honestly pretty boring Borland Ambiton (golf attire).


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Frasier was a big fan of THEME PARTIES. First, in Halloween, Niles hosted a party and asked everyone to come dressed as a character from literature. In Room Full Of Heroes, Frasier has everyone dress up as their, well, heroes. And then in Tales From The Crypt, they just all play some pranks. Not your best, Frasier.


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Now Roseanne does have one more Halloween special than Home Improvement so I'm fine with dubbing her the queen. Trick or Treat messed with gender roles, Halloween IV was probably my favorite with a sort of Christmas Carol vibe (they did it before Tim Burton. Or did they? Someone look that up) and I cannot leave out The Final Chapter because hello, she names her baby after Jerry Garcia.


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One show that usually nailed it on the Halloween front was The Office. Let's take the time to admire Jim Halpert's amazing costume choices. Jim successfully pulled off Bookface, three-hole-punch Jim, Dave and Popeye (once he became married and boring). I can also commend Michael Scott's paper mache twin head, the multiple Joker costumes (RIP Heath) and that one time Ryan went as Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad. Though Kelly Kapoor pulling off Carrie Bradshaw was also very astonishing.


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There have been a few great costumes and recurring story lines revolving around Halloween in How I Met Your Mother but really the ones worth mentioning are The Slutty Pumpkin in season 1 and The Slutty Pumpkin Returns in season 7 (and she returned again briefly LAST WEEK). Ted met a slutty pumpkin in 2001 and every Halloween he waits for her at the rooftop party. She doesn't show up again until 2007 (good job losing her phone number there buddy). That's a long time to wait and go figure she isn't even the mother, but she's Katie Holmes and she loves Barenaked Ladies. Deal breaker.

Now just wait until Christmas.

oh what a night and an accent vlob

Tonight after some much needed Big Bang Theory with Zack, I settled into bed to watch Home Improvement with the doggies while Zack worked his podcasting magic. All of this is what dreams are made of kids, take note.






And lastly, I've seen this accent vlog/vlob TWICE today, and apparently it's been around for a year. Who knew? So I thought I'd throw that in for good measure, double chin and all. Thanks to Bright Wishes and Crowley Party for posting them today!



Say the following words:
Aunt, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught
Answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

Goodnight.