sometimes chips are my lifeblood

Seriously there are days where I will drink a million cups of coffee and still feel tired. Today I've had one bag of chips and I'm full. How is that fair?

Wednesdays are the best days for me to write. It's on the slower side at my day job so I can get the actual creative juices flowing before interruption. And the chips help, they really do.

I started a book today (yes, another one). I'm really intrigued by where I can go with this one, which sounds promising. I have made notes, outlines and the book above has served as an amazing source of inspiration (it better, considering it's about creative inspiration.

Here's hoping!

the nature of the beast slash process

Recently I spent too much money on books about writing. Stephen King says it's a huge waste of money...and he's probably right. But either way I feel like if I can truly buckle down and learn some sort of discipline I can have something done by the end of the year. Maybe not the finished product but at least something I can be proud of. I believe this is realistic and I plan to learn a lot.

However I did get a wee bit distracted by episodes of the original Beverly Hills 90210 while setting out on my first project. I am not ashamed. Dylan had a hard life.

yesterday

Yesterday in the show I took a walk and a drive. Errands needed to be ran despite the snow so I took it upon myself to run them (precursor to Everest someday, huh?). With four new tires my Corolla does wonderful in the show, I was impressed. She reminded me of when I first got her and she wouldn't take any crap from anyone. That car is a brick and won't die until I lay it down to rest.

The point is, I came up with a few good ideas for stories/books/novels/pamphlets whilst walking and so today I'm going to do my best to get the creative juices flowing and at least get some of it down on paper (which means a Word document now days, that's kind of weird). I have a lot of coffee and the only real things I need to do today is laundry and grocery shop (because I slept through yoga).

If you're having trouble being creative or want a really good mental kick in the ass about your life's endeavors you should look into the book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It will make you cry and realize that you can do a lot of badass stuff. I've talked about it before but wow.

I have big dreams. I'm going to make all of them happen.

one word and the war of art

I'm about 80% sure I've blogged about this site before, but in case I have not: one word...well two words. And those two words are one word. Confused yet? I am a little.

In an effort to help my creativity I'm probably going to use this little site as a prompt to write at least one thing every day starting next week. I need to start setting and reaching goals for myself. I'm almost 30, it's time to finish that damn book.

In another effort, I just purchased The War Of Art by Steven Pressfield. I can't wait to read it, all of the reviews make it sound very amazing and I think maybe it'll give me some good ideas to help with my writing. I think it will be good.

And then Wil Wheaton had to go and write this beautiful thing and it just made me feel like someone out there gets it...though I'm sure a lot of people do and I just don't know it.

Happy Wednesday.

i really do not want to write today

I do not, do not, do NOT want to write today. But I should? Because I feel like I have things to say, or at least to jot down to remember later. That word "jot" looks funny.

I have things prepared. I will get to it this week.

Do not procrastinate, Jordan.

Love, Jordan.

i have the block

via

Blanche: Well now I know why Hemmingway killed himself. Oh, girls, I have Writer's Block! It is the worst feeling in the world!
Sophia: Try ten days without a bowel movement sometime.
Blanche: You just sit there, hour after hour after hour!
Sophia: Tell me about it.
Dorothy: How much have you written?
Blanche: Well, nothing. That's how I know I have writers block.
Dorothy: Blanche, you have to have written something to have writers block, otherwise we all have it.

Best way to put it. I don't usually talk about the writing I do away from the blog here, but I thought it's about time. Going through this entire process I know I'm going to need an outlet so I'm going to start utilizing it as of this moment.

I. Cannot. Figure. Out. What. To. Write.

I have finally figured out the genre and the layout and have settled on essay format (hey, Jordan's book of essays, rush to the store NOW) however I've started about seven essays, none of which I can complete. I am just staring at them blankly like "Okay, now what? and they're staring back at me like "Hey, this is your thing, you should know what you're writing" and now I'm like okay, I spent too much time deciding on what the front cover would look like, but what's the point if there is nothing to go on the pages in between.

I made my goal this year to finish the first draft of the book by December. I think that is a really believable goal, however even if I write one essay a month that's only 12 essays and I'm not sure that is enough. Also, I'm a month behind, so there's that. I'm self-taught and in need of a refreshers so now I'm scouring online tutorials to get my essay writing skills back up to par. I need to write something that others can care about, get them intrigued and wanting to read more. It's a lot harder than it sounds, I think.

I know it'll take time, and when I'm out doing something completely unrelated to writing an idea will form and I will have to write it down. Hopefully, I mean, that's how it works in other books I've read. Or movies. Or television.

I've wanted this for longer than I can say. I have wanted to write and complete SOMETHING. I want to be proud of it. I care entirely too much about this process, enough to dedicate an entire blog post to the subject after stressing that I have writers block. Ironyyyyy.

I am sure it'll pass. I'm sure the seven essays that I have started will turn into something great if I give it enough love, attention and dedication, which I am prepared to do. It's time to settle and make this goal complete, if I want it enough, which I do.

it's friday, friday

via

Here I sit on Friday. Personal day much needed. For reasons unknown to me I have been feeling really anxious lately and haven't been sleeping well. I have so many ideas in my brain that I want to work on but I cannot wrap around them. Why does that always seem to happen? Ah, such is life.

Hope everyone's weekends are filled with super-awesomeness. I think I'm going to be doing a lot of R&R, watching some Super Bowl and hopefully getting A LOT of writing done. Goals, people, I have finally set goals.

write on, write off

via

Lets talk about writing, shall we? I'm a writer, or so I tell myself. I've never been published, I've never written anything of note, but I know that is exactly where my heart lies. I write for me and if someone else finds it interesting, that's a plus. I thought I'd share a little bit about my writing process, if you don't mind. It helps me, at times, to get it all out on paper (or blog) and it may help someone else, that's always good.

I don't have a format. Lets start there? I mainly open up a word document or a blank sheet of notebook paper and start typing/writing. Sometimes the ideas "pour fourth like liquid from a stream" (Golden Girls reference, someone has to get it), and sometimes I have letters and doodles and...that's it. Writing can be hard, yo.

Fortunately there are some places around the world wide web that can help, one I've found very useful is The Writing Faculty. It is an online organization specified to assist with creative writing. It's hard enough to narrow down what creative writing even is, at least for me. That's such a wide spectrum. Whether you're writing for you or trying to write the ultimate college thesis, this site can certainly give you the tools to write your best. There is a talented group of tutors and staff that can assist you easily in so many ways that I don't even know where to start. Sometimes that's exactly what is needed to jumpstart that brain into writing something fabulous.

Don't take my word for it, help yourself. Check them out.

As for writing on my blog, it's a little more free form than an essay but structure is needed. I've learned a lot about the importance of structure and original content in the last few weeks and let me tell you, its essential for people to keep reading. There is so much out there to learn if you just know where to go. It's given me the confidence to make my writing that much better.

*sponsored post

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I want to thank everyone for the kind comments, emails, etc., I received yesterday on my guest post on Jess's blog. It was really nervewracking to put that out there even though there wasn't really anything negative to say, it still worried me what people would think (something I truly need to not worry about). I was very happy with the feedback.

I'm hitting kind of a creative road block and it's really getting to me for some reason. I want to write, that's all I've ever wanted to do yet I find it hard to want to share what I've written because of that fear. How will I ever be a writer if I can't get over that? It isn't that I can't take criticism, I'm actually fine with that, it's just the initial reaction that worries me. What if this doesn't make sense, what if it isn't even good? I have those thoughts in my head constantly. I'm not even doing it to become the next big author, I actually coudn't care less if I recieve a multi-million dollar book deal (though I wouldn't turn it down), I just want to produce something I can be proud of and that someone finds interesting besides myself. I just feel like I'll never get there if I keep holding myself back.

As I was walking out of the day job yesterday it also hit me, there are other ways to be creative. That's why I've started this blog, not only do I want to write frequently but I want to keep anything here that inspires me, be it an outfit, a painting or another blog. I want to look at pretty things because that's what I like doing. I just wish I was better at it.

Ah, that felt good. Who knows, maybe that'll inspire something?

i ate too many cookies last night...

...and I believe I am feeling it today.


top: thrifted; pants: target; boots: target

However...I really like my outfit and hair so in true "I swear I'm not a style blogger because I have no style" form, here is a picture of me today!

(Dear Zack, if you see this...don't hate)

I'm off early today which brings me much joy. Having vacation time rules, though I have a lot of reading/research to do so I will still be "doing stuff". At least when I leave work early I'm slightly productive.

There are so many things I need to do with the holidays coming up. We need to design a Christmas card, we need to make goodies for the three neighbors that we have...I have so much to plan on and so many ideas to choose from that I'm completely procrastinating.

I love this time of year, I truly do.

life redesign

I did yet another blog redesign. Sometimes I feel like I need a life redesign. No, that sounds bad. I just need an attitude adjustment. Its truly up to me to be happy, I can't rely on anyone else. I can choose to be happy in a situation or miserable in a situation. Now why would I choose to be miserable? Oh yes, because I am Jordan, the girl formally known as emo (hi Jordan). So, now I have a decision to make. If life dealt me a crappy day then I have to figure out a way, by myself, to turn it around. If I wait for someone else to do it for me than I'm going to be waiting all day, and that's just unacceptable.

In other news...

I had a wonderful day, today. Zack did his radio shindig and was absolutely fantastic (I'll post the audio soon), I had a relatively stress-free day at work, I got several gals there addicted to Pinterest (which will probably get blocked now thanks to me, sorry) and I got a lot of great writing ideas.

I've been working on a book of some form for a while now and I think, after too much deliberation, that I've found a groove. Now, it's just a matter of pressing that groove to paper and hopefully forming sentences that make sense to someone other than myself, and my dogs. I don't know, I've always wanted to write and this blog is the closest I've come to getting anything out there. I've been much more diligent about writing, I am going to try and post at least a few times daily (other than a writing outlet its good to chronicle life and things I find and love, go figure).

Another thing I learned just now, diligent only has one "l". Good job, writer.

I've been pretty subtle on here, though some of you have caught on...we've been talking about a little Shutt. That makes me the happiest girl alive and also the most terrified. I used to be so indifferent about babies and then after getting married and growing up I realize it is something I seriously want to do, be it through pregnancy or adoption, which I believe we will do in the future. However it happens I would love to bring a little one into this home to share our lives.

Zack will be the coolest dad. Tonight we were watching Dexter and, without saying too much, there was a scene where Dexter was worrying about his son, Harrison, by googling different tragedies that could happen at just a minor procedure at the doctors office. That's Zack right there, he'll constantly worry if the kid licks a rock, where myself on the other hand will probably pick their binkie up off of the ground and lick it before sticking it back into their mouth. It helps their immune system!

I've got a lot to say tonight it seems. All this change has given me a lot to think about. I'm hardly complaining, it all makes me very excited, but change is always something to be nervous about. Having a baby will change lives, and change our relationship and we have to be willing to accommodate those changes. We're going to be scared, it won't be easy but I believe that it will be worth it. There is just so much to think about: work, childcare, feeding, birth situation, it is all so endless! Now I need a glass of wine so I can feel like a kid again, just for a second. Oh, and I'll leave you with this song. I am so not a summer fan but this song is one of the reasons summer is amazing and now that I believe it's officially gone I will bid ye summer faretheewell.