S01E09 - The One Where The Underdog Gets Away
This one prefaces all other Thanksgivings. Chandler admits his unfondness for the holiday, Rachel tries to be independent and fails, Ross and Monica start the tradition of hosting the dinner (well, Monica does). When they all return to the apartment to celebrate dinner, no one has the keys so the dinner burns and they end up with grilled cheese. This makes Chandler feel somewhat better. Joey is VD guy.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: JOEY IS VD GUY.
S02e08 - The One With The List
Ross and Rachel are fresh off of their first kiss. Ross has a decision to make: Julie or Rachel? So he does the natural thing and makes a list. Rachel has a lot of cons but Julie isn't Rachem. Meanwhile Monica, desperate for work, ends up committing to making several "mocklate" Thanksgiving dishes, however the FDA approval doesn't come through and she is still out of a job.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: Rachel. I see where Ross's intentions were good but it still burns to hear all of that bad crap about you.
S03e09 - The One With The Football
Monica and Ross are not really allowed to play football after the Gellar Cup incident but it doesn't stop them. Joey meets a pretty foreign gal but she picks Chandler. Rachel was picked last! The teams end up girls versus boys and inevitably no one wins.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: I'm giving it a tie between Rachel and Joey. Rachel seemed to be the butt of every joke but Joey seemed really upset when the Dutch chick picked Chandler. So he gets some of this.
S04E08 - The One With Chandler In A Box
Joey and Chandler aren't speaking because of (another) girl. Everyone wants to do secret santa because funds are tight, but Chandler needs to get Rachel because he already got her a briefcase with initials RG...it could go to Ross Geller as well. Monica gets ice in her eyeball, Ross tries to rekindle Joey and Chandler's friendship. Monica goes to the eye doctor and falls in like with Richard's son, it's not weird, but it's weird. She invites him to Thanksgiving. Ross tries to verify that Rachel exchanges all the gifts she gets which is true but she shows him she keeps the important stuff. Chandler ends up in a box as solidarity to Joey and it helps them work it out. Monica gets to wear a patch and Joey had reasons.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: This time it was Chandler. Hello, he was in a box.
S05E08 - The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks (The One With All The Thanksgivings)
Chandler again claims to be the king of bad Thanksgivings. Phoebe tries to top it but it has to be in this life, duh. Joey got a turkey stuck on his head. Flock of Chandler and Chandler Vice both make an appearance at the Geller household. He was mean to Monica. Ross was hung up on Rachel and there was a song called Emotional Knapsack. Monica gets revenge by being skinny, seducing him leads to Sir Limps a Lot. Monica tries to cheer him up with a turkey on her head and he tells her that he loves her and there are feels.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: I'm going to go with Monica. She really didn't want her story told and after it all aired out she felt even worse, however it did get Chandler to fess up to the L word so it can't be all bad.
S06E09 - The One Where Ross Got High
Rachel gets to make dessert so she opts for a traditional English Trifle. The Geller's don't know that Monica and Chandler are even a thing let alone living together, they don't like him. Ross and Joey are invited to Joey's hot roommates Thanksgiving. Chandler really tries to please Mr. Geller while Phoebe keeps having erotic dreams about him. Rachel's trifle involves beef. She messed up. Ross figures out why his parents hate Chandler, they think he got Ross high. He doesn't want to admit it so Monica outs him and they end up shouting out confessions back and forth and Chandler becomes the favorite in all of this. Everyone tries to spare Rachel's feelings about her dessert.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: Ross. It's close with Rachel and Chandler but where Chandler ended up the favorite and everyone tried to be nice to Rachel's dessert I feel like even though he was in the wrong, Ross still ended up coming out of this feeling the crappiest.
S07E08 - The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
50 States in 6 minutes. Ross claims he has them all but of course we know there are 56 states according to Joey. Ross cannot eat until he gets them all. Phoebe has been hiding a dog in the apartment, Chandler cannot be allergic so he admits that he doesn't like dogs, they're weird. Ross doesn't like ice cream, weirdo. Rachel invited her assistant Tag, he's newly single and she jumps in just as his car gets stolen. After the paperwork is filed he does return the sentiment. The dog gets to stay after Chandler admits he "lost" him. Ross finally gets Delaware and then realizes he has Nevada twice.
Who actually has the worst Thanksgiving: Ross. That 50 states game is hard, I would know.
S08E09 - The One With The Rumor
Rachel is newly pregnant and poultry makes her puke. Joey said he will eat all the turkey that no one else wants. Chandler and Phoebe pretend to watch the game so they do not have to help, go Green Bay Mermen! Monica invites Brad Pitt to dinner, he lost a bunch of weight and still hates Rachel. There was a club co-founded by Ross and an ugly rumor about Rachel being both genders surfaces. Brad Pitt eats his yams, Ross made out with a faculty member and now Brad Pitt knows about the baby. Maternity pants = Thanksgiving pants.
Who actually has the worst Thanksgiving: Rachel, that's a given, rumors are mean. And honorable mention to Brad Pitt because now he's eating complex carbs again.
S09E08 - The One With Rachel's Other Sister
Amy shows up unannounced and declares she wants Emma after Ross and Rachel die. Ross and Rachel have already decided that Chandler and Monica deserve the honor but only if Monica doesn't die, too. Chandler is upset because he feels he will be a good parent and Monica reassures him. Joey is in trouble for missing the parade, Phoebe helps him lie about a family emergency. Everyone fights and Rachel ends up breaking the wedding china, but not as bad as Chandler breaks it. At least he showed off his amazing parenting skills before.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: I was going to say Chandler, but I think between missing the parade and then not even being offered a baby (but being offered up as one) Joey gets it.
SE10E08 - The One With The Late Thanksgiving
Monica and Chandler don't want to host Thanksgiving but Phoebe tricks them into it. Ross and Joey go to a Rangers game without Chandler and they have nacho chair, Rachel and Phoebe enter Emma in a beauty pageant. They all end up late and Monica and Chandler are pissed. After many excuses and Joey getting his head stuck in the door and ruining the food they all come together and eat what is left. Water balloon trumps paper, rock, scissors and even fire. Monica doesn't care that the food is ruined. She and Chandler were picked by a pregnant woman from Ohio to get her baby. Lots of tears and happiness, until Joey compares that to the day he got his cabbage patch, but I feel that still means something.
Who actually had the worst Thanksgiving: No one's was really bad because of how it all came together and even though they were late, Monica and Chandler GOT A BABY so this was in no way bad for them. I'd say Joey because he got his head stuck.
So out of all ten Thanksgivings the winner is actually...Joey. Four of the ten he had troubled times, Chandler only had one! Phoebe didn't have any so you know what that means, we should all become vegetarians. So we should all raise our glasses to Joey this Thanksgiving holiday, if you will.
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