As you may know, the voice inside my head is Dorothy Zbornak. She's my spirit animal (where Mary-Kate is my patronus) and she understands my being and my existence.
As much as I try to resist it's hard to not get caught up in the negative. Life is sunny, birds are singing, doggies are playing and there is tea to drink. Why can't I appreciate that?
Because there are negative vibes all over the universe.
It's then when I have to have a stern talking to from Dorothy.
"Jordan, if you put out negative vibes then you will get negative vibes back. I don't want to go all Rose on you and start telling you a St. Olaf story, or go all Ma on you and tell you a story from Sicily, but one time, back in Brooklyn, I got knocked up in high school and I had to marry Stan and I could have made that a negative experience, but did I?
"Yeah, kinda. Well not at the time, but after he left you for a girl half Blanche's age after 38 years of marriage you got a little bitter."
"Well I had a right to!"
"You did, Dorothy, and I get it, but sometimes I seriously just cannot get out of a crappy mood."
"Then you know what you do! You take Rose's pre-measured cap on her Nyquil because if you take her cap she'll feel lousy and that will make you feel better. Or you know what? You can throw a pie in Mr. Ha-ha's face, because that works, too."
"You're obviously referring to this...
Thanks, Dorothy."
