12.09.2013

essential christmas movie: titanic


As much as I would love to take credit for this photo it must have credit where credit is due....here.

Probably the weirdest of my holiday traditions is watching Titanic on Christmas Eve. As a kid this was the one movie that was long enough that if I watched it twice the day was pretty much over. And also as a kid I thought this movie was four hours long. It isn't. It's actual running time is 196 minutes so basically a little over three hours. That's a little sad to realize, however doesn't stop me from watching it at least once over the holiday.

I have some tips on the perfect way to incorporate this into your holiday festivities resulting in maximum passing of the time...

-It's preferable if you have a copy on VHS, only because of the two separate tapes. It takes a bit to change from tape one to tape two thus prolonging your movie marathon.
-When the story goes from old Rose telling of her past to actually viewing her past get up and preheat the oven. You're also going to bake cookies or a pie or something.
-Now that you're in a zone you can sit by and relax. Pause the film when the oven alerts you it's at the right temperature and pop in your frozen pie/pre-sliced cookies. I'm not going to make you do actual baking, it'll just feel like it.
-Resume film. Cuddle a beloved family pet or pillow. By now I'm sure you're at the part where they're down in third class dancing to awesome Irish music. Feel free to do a little jig.
-When cookies/pie/croissant is done pause film and take out of oven. Let cool through the next several scenes. I would say at least through the nudie scene.
-CHANGE TAPES (if applicable.
-Now you have the dramatic part, and cookies so you're safe, things are going to be okay!
-Find pet/pillow and cuddle again. You're going to need them. The orchestra is playing hymns, that's never a good sign. Remember when the old couple are holding each other when water swirls around them? MY HEART. Speaking of...
-It may be helpful to also grab a cocktail. Like a gin and tonic with a piece of holly or something, because it's Christmas and gin = pine trees.
-When the ship goes under take a big gulp/shot. Remember, you're going to be spending this holiday with FAMILY.
-Take another drink/shot for good measure.
-Hey remember that stupid Hockley left the diamond in the jacket! Everybody wins!
-Now the movie is almost over. You've probably eaten all the cookies. It's okay, it's what we do. Pause the movie and get rid of your plates/napkins. Just in time for th final dream sequence.
-Aw damn the movie is over, but good news, it's almost time for your family's Christmas party!
-You can spend the night analyzing the final moments. I called it a dream sequence. Is it even a dream or is it heaven or what is it?

Merry Holidays, love Jordan.

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