jordan drinks tab

New series (one of a few). I like tv. I watch tv. So I'm going to write about tv. Most of the traffic I get on this blog are on the posts that are pop culture related so it's time to listen. Each week I'll recap the crap I watch. I'll try to be witty, etc, but sometimes I may just ramble. And the title? Well when I signed up for Instagram, the name thatjordangirl (MY LIFELONG MONIKER) was taken*. I needed to get creative and I was drinking a TaB. The name was born. It looks like I drink and stab, but I assure you I do not. However oftentimes I do drink a nice, cold, TaB whilst watching television. So, like your favorite television recap show on E!, Jordan Drinks Tab is where we do this.

Okay. There was absolutely no way I could have started this column during premiere week. I would have died. DID YOU READ THIS?.

This week was a little more calm so let's just assume everyone watched premiers and call it good.

So Revenge. I was kind of interested through most of it, which is really sweet considering last year I was about done and barely remembered what even happened on the finale. Ashley has been Daven-ported. God I love you, Nolan. I'm glad you're out of jail.

How I Met Your Mother is not allowed to end like that. It's really not fair at all and I find it mean and offensive. I love how Lily and Ted had a little bondage time, platonic-ally. That was quite sweet. I just wish he would "meet" the mother already, that was he can stop pining over Robyn. I wonder how they're going to keep Hostages going? Is it going to be like Revenge and try to pull weird story lines out of nowhere to create a second season? Probably. Will I still watch it? Probably. I do like me some Jimmy Cooper though. Or, Tate Donovan for those of you that did not obsess over The O.C. like I did. Mom was pretty good after what I thought was a really strong premiere. I hope that one keeps going. I will forever be in love with Allison Janney and just assume that somewhere in her cupboard is her kitty mug she stole from the 10 Things I Hate About You set (RIP HEATH). I gave We Are Men a shot this week and I'll probably give it more shots, or take shots or what have you. It feels like a show that should come with a drinking game so maybe I will get on that and pitch it to the networks. I'm glad that Jerry O'Connell is getting some steady work and I'm glad that Tony Shalub is back, but did the beginning remind anyone of Happy Endings? It did me.

As much as I want to stop watching New Girl, I can't. Something keeps sucking me back in. It's probably Schmidt even though he is an uber bag of douche as seen in this weeks episode. CeCe weeping make me have all the feels.


As for Law and Order: SVU I'm fairly sure this will be the drama series this season that dominates me. The premiere was epic and even the Paula Deen/Trayvon Martin/"Blurred Lines" episode had me going, even if it was an even more blatant rip off than the Hilary Duff episode that totally has my heart. I seriously want to name my first child Detective Benson Shutt (or Benson for short) because she is such a badass.

Thurdsay is worse than Monday. Shit. I have a lot of television that night. Deep breath. The Crazy Ones has kept my interest kind of for the second week in a row, so those odds are good. I gave Sean Saves The World a short and lordy it was really good. Like really good in a surprising kind of way. I enjoy Megan Hilty and Lt. Dangle from Reno 911 so I think I'm on board. Michael J. Fox also did not disappoint. I am just so happy that Marie from Breaking Bad is still going to be on my television for hopefully years to come. Parenthood made me cry, as it should. Grey's Anatomy pissed me off as it should. Glee bored me because I'm dreading the episode next week. What else do I have on Thursday? I am missing something. Big Bang Theory, I always forget you. YOU WERE SO FUNNY THIS WEEK. Thank you. Go Neil Diamond and Penny is smart.

Friday is super reality fun night that technically I watch Saturday morning so I can still give the impression that I have a life. Honestly though my Friday night consisted of pizza and Doctor Who which in my land is a great life. Friday/Saturday morning gives me Shark Tank which is always addicting, I have no idea why. This week I didn't really notice anything worth investing in, I'll have to wait until something comes along that I can truly sink my teeth into and then I will be able to outbid Mark Cuban. Masterchef Juniors may be the cutest show in the entire world. It could only be cuter if it was called Masterchef Puppies which would probably be a terrible idea if you really think about it. These kids cook better than I will ever dream to and they support each other. It was up to the judges to stir the pot a bit and try to get some competition going.

Finally Saturday. Hey, Saturday is my free night, right? So we watched the Notre Dame game and maybe some Miley Cyrus on SNL. I can't help it, you guys. I really like her voice and her music and even, gulp, her. I do. I think she knows what she's doing and she's getting people to talk about her and she's laughing all the way to the bank. You go girl. You really did not disappoint and you honestly showcased what actual talent that you have. You done us proud. No twerking, and your singing was phenomenal.

Until next week, enjoy your Tab.

*I check daily. If that name is every up for grabs again, IT'S MINE.