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When I was about 19, after living on my own for a year due to family issues, I was forced to move back in with my mother. Since she'd re-arranged things in her home after I left at fifteen to live with my dad, I had no real place of my own so I turned our damp, unfinished basement into my little pad. It had really awesome purple carpet leftover from one of my cousin's rooms, a bright blue dresser and a bed in the corner next to the attic crawl space...but it was mine.
In order to feel a little more grown up, I bought a cheap tablecloth to put on what was once an endtable in our living room, added a flower face and my freshly purchased issue of Cosmopoliton magazine. That there meant I was an official woman.
I have no idea what I was thinking. Reading that magazine now almost makes me laugh. I hate to say it, considering what a loyal following Cosmo has, but half of the articles really don't pertain to the "everywoman" at least in my opinion. I need a magazine that teaches me how to unclog drains when I don't catch my excess hair and stick it to the tile before it goes down the drain. It would be nice to read an article on how long it's appropriate to not shave your legs in the winter and how to get rid of buffet induced acne. That would be a lot easier than reading 39430 ways to please my man.
I have bigger problems than stretch marks. I have insurance companies to deal with. I've been wearing my current pair of contacts an embarrassingly long time simply because I just have forgotten to make an appointment with the eye doctor. There needs to be a womens magazine that helps you deal with those problems. I understand there are sexual crimes that we need to be made aware of, and knowing 200 date ideas can definitely be helpful but it's a little trite.
But wait, how much of a downer am I? Maybe that's the exact point of this magazine...to not be serious. To be a little lighthearted and to remind us that spring colors do make your days brighter, and it's okay to ask your boss for a raise, you just have to look the part.
Hmm. Okay, now I'm torn. I really am. On one hand I really like the optimistic idea of looking at life in the happiest sunshine rays possible, but on the other hand, it's nice to have some real advice that I can apply to my life. No one ever seems to talk about the real stuff. Either way, I keep reading Cosmo. Monthly I buy the magazine and skim the articles to see if maybe there are some ways that I can improve upon my life. I'm thinking that if I keep doing this, one day my wishes will come true, but I'm not sure I can wait.
Dare I say it? Am I considering parting ways with Cosmo and opting for something much more grown up like The New Yorker or W? I don't know. Do I have to make a decision today? No.
However if a magazine shows up that tells me how I can get my dogs to stop breaking glass bowls in my living room or how to make sure my bedroom is the same temperature as the rest of my house I am all for it.
haaaaaaaaa. ha. the first time I read a cosmo was when I was 19 and at my friend's bachelorette party. I was all, "wait, you do a headstand and then put your legs on his shoulders?!" Needless to say, I was a little concerned for the people attempting that sex position. So. Many. Possible. Injuries.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I know what you mean. Things like pinterest are happy and easy and pretty, but not very "real". But real is boring. And sad.
I'm with you. Torn. When you figure it out, let me know, eh?
ps. the captcha thing they wanted me to write was "turtsup". Think about all the things that could mean.
... I'm scarred for life after reading how many ways you have to please my brother.....
ReplyDeleteLOL at Shalee! Ok, I like this post lots (mostly because we catch our drain hair in the same place). I changed over to Glamour magazine around 23 and love it. It has plenty of the fun stuff to keep me positive but has real life stories, how to run your home stories and even a writing contest once a year. So make the switch!!
ReplyDeleteIf you order subscriptions it's far cheaper! ;)
ReplyDeletePlus, mail is fun.
But! Once, I asked men in my life for drain tips. I was standing in a foot of water while showering and my roommate/landlord had a broken foot, so I couldn't ask him to walk down all of the stairs into my basement. The men all said, if I didn't want to get dirty with the whole wire hanger pulling hair out of the drain thing, then to take a plunger to the drain. Seriously, just as it sounds. And, lady, it is magical! I've never had any standing water in my shower since and I've never had to pull the disgustingness of hair out of my drain. Plunger. Drain. Magic.
I feel the same way about Cosmo. I like reading it for fun, but in no way refer to it as the "bible", if you know what I mean ;)
ReplyDelete