things that ruined my life - my top 6

In the past I've usually done top 9's. Sometimes, 9 is just too much, so weekly now I will be wowing you with some form of another of a top 6 countdown. I figure what better way to start than with top 6 things that ruined my life - television edition. In no particular order...


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1. The Golden Girls - I will never be Dorothy Zbornak. Seriously, it's upsetting to me. Since I was nine she has been a woman of great knowledge, someone I have looked up to repeatedly. "So far today I have turned down every job in the county that didn't involve selling cocaine." She is brilliant. She has humor and wit, charisma, and she can snap a friends neck like a twig. She is self-sufficient, but not enough to be annoying. That's a quality most of us strive to achieve and I have strived and strived, but I will always be a little needy. I'm sorry, Dorothy, I hope you'll forgive me.


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2. Sex and The City - I will never afford Carrie's shoes/wardrobe or have her career. I also know that I cannot live on a weekly column writers salary and still afford all the fancy meals and fancy shoes she takes in on a daily basis. That is not realistic, writers are lucky if they make any money at all! "I've spent forty thousand dollars on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes." That would be me, I'd be "a bag lady, a fendi bag lady, but a bag lady." Good lord, SHE IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.


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3. Roswell - Aliens aren't real...or are they? Ever since I was fourteen I've been wondering that. Now days, anything involving the paranormal intrigues me be it aliens, ghosts, you name it. So now that we know where that stemmed from, I am constantly questioning everything in the universe because HOW COOL WOULD IT BE IF ALIENS WERE REAL? "We're not from around here..." Seriously when Max Evans uttered those words I was floored. As Liz casually asked "Where are you from?" I was yelling it at the screen, "YES WHERE ARE YOU FROM." I didn't trust them. I know better now that aliens are our friends (well, most of them, excluding Romulans but we'll get to that) and they can help us discover things. Discovering things is good, right? Speaking of...


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4. Star Trek: TNG - so what if i want to attend starfleet academy? Why can't I be a telepath? So many unanswered questions in the universe. I want to be a Starfleet captain, I think I can learn from Captain Jean-Luc Picard, he is way smarter than Captain Kirk, ask Sheldon Cooper. "Make it so, number one." AND HE LIKES TEA. "Tea, earl grey, hot." You cannot go wrong with that.


via 5. Gilmore Girls - You can't be best friends with everyone in your city, you just can't, plus I cannot come up with witty comments that quickly. I want to invent my own catchphrase "Oy, with the poodles already." I want a weird town Kirk (not to be confused with the Captain) to make shirts that says what people in my town are doing "Babette ate oatmeal." What amazing comradery that is.


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6. Dexter - for all I know, my brother is a serial killer. Or my neighbor. If I didn't learn to "trust no one" from the X-Files (which contradicts Roswell, but whatever), then I would learn that from Dexter Morgan. He comes off as the sweetest, most upstanding dude, yet little does anyone know of his "dark passenger". Now that's just it, I believe he is a sweet, upstanding dude, he just has a Boondock Saints vibe about him wanting to get rid of the horrible scum that walks the earth. I am so torn with him, yet can't help but wait for what happens next. He also makes me really want to buy a Dodge.