freedom isn't free

I've been thinking I should probably get some stuff out that has been on my mind a lot lately. It's really hard to know how to even go about this because if I'm being honest, I'm not even really sure what my exact thoughts are. I've been struggling a lot this past year (or five) with self-growth and self-discovery. That being said, I've recently decided that it's time to finally start doing all of those things I've been wanting to do but keep putting off for one reason or another. Those things are but are not limited to:

1. Writing a book
2. Figuring how to work for myself
3. Figuring out what I should do to actually be able to figure out how to work for myself.

I've known for a while that I've wanted to do something where I can be my own boss. I would like to preface this with the fact that I do have a great job. I work for a very loyal and fantastic company that will go to bat for any of it's employees. I'm late every day and sometimes I don't put in the effort I know I should, but overall I am a consistent employee that does my job very well and so if I have an off day, it doesn't matter. I am valued.

Thing is with me, a creative-type, so to speak, is that I often find myself feeling constrained. I punch a clock, if I take too long to go to the bathroom it's noticed. Not that this is a bad thing, it's the nature of working for someone else. It's a small (very small) price to pay. That's what you do, you go to your job to work and are compensated for your efforts.

I struggle with this at times, mainly because I want a little more freedom. Don't we all? So I know that someday I will want to be able to make my own schedule and not have to answer to anyone but myself when it comes to the hours I work. I also know that I need more creativity in my life. That is just a fact, it's surely what I am destined to do and I've only realized that more and more lately. I've had some very amazing pushes in the right direction and that has helped me open my eyes.

I don't want to be one of those people that just says hey, I'm going to do this, and then I sit on my ass for many days and look back and I'm fifty and I'm still on a regular 9-5. I cannot be that person, I won't let myself.

So I'm starting to take initiative. I've started learning new things already and I'm seriously considering enrolling in the Salt Lake Art Institute sometime next year, but we will see. I have a long way to go before I do that.

Now about that book.

I've got a bit written and I have many more ideas, I just need to get them out onto the pages. I can do this and I will do this. I understand that I will never be able to live comfortably being a writer, and that is okay. Writing is a passion and I don't want to lose my zest for it. So if I publish one book or seven, I need something else to bring home the bacon and hopefully where I'm heading will be just that.

I will share more when I have a little more practice and feel a little more comfortable but for now just know that I'm learning, I can't wait to share more and write more about this entire process and I really hope that by doing this it pushes me just a little bit further.