to the tea, baby

via

Lately, we in the Shutt household have become obsessed with tea. I'm not really sure what started it, but it seems that at least three times a day myself or my husband will put the kettle on the burner and wait for the high-pitched whistle which signifies that the water is hot enough to turn the little smelly baggy into a delicious beverage.

Excuse me while I brew some now. Ahem.

I use it as an excuse to not drink Tab. After the incident in which half-asleep Jordan woke up in the middle of the night to take the dog out and then proceeded to pound not one but three cans of Tab, I knew I needed some sort of intervention. I wasn't really addicted to Tab, I never had it inserted with a needle into my veins or anything, but three, one after another, in one sitting was enough for me to realize that I could potentially have a problem. The following day I opened my refrigerator and glared at my box of Tab with distaste.

"Oh Tab, I love you so, however I think at this point I must give you up for at least a short period of time. I am too embarrassed by my actions to even look you in the face." I knew Tab understood, and I felt relief knowing that no one in their right mind would touch that box of Tab while I recovered because most people I know find it disgusting.

After I closed the door I filled up my kettle with water and turned the front burner on high. I waited, and waited, and waited, etc. I almost forgot I had something on the stove until that familiar whistle screeched over the episode of Home Improvement I was currently engrossed in. I made my way to the kitchen and removed the kettle from the burner. I then had a very important choice to make, which flavor should I choose?

We'd had some tea in our house for a while, but it rarely was used. I was half surprised to see that the boxes had not expired (which now poses the question, does tea expire? This I still don't know). I had three flavors to choose from: peppermint, chamomile or black chai spice. I selected the peppermint.

This started an obsession for me. I made cup after cup of the minty tea, it felt so good rushing down my throat and I was so excited to finish the box so I had an excuse to buy more. Shortly after my obsession began, my husband started making himself a cup with the remaining water I'd left in the kettle after I was finished. This started him on the road to tea obsessiveness. So much that he started asking me if I'd like a cup when he decided to brew one for himself. Then we started buying.

It started with green tea, and then some vanilla chai. Then we delved into black tea and then lemon tea. We were finding there were so many flavors we wanted, no, needed to try.

I found myself at Wal-mart at eight o'clock on a Wednesday evening a few weeks before Christmas. I was dressed in my appropriate Wal-Mart attire: black dance pants, fuzzy boots, a crocheted shall and a sweatshirt, and I was ready for an invigorating evening of grocery shopping. This all changed when I got to the breakfast aisle. We were out of coffee so that was my first priority until I discovered their selection of tea. Oh, how I was ecstatic! There were flavors I hadn't even dreamed of before! They had fruit flavors like peach and wild berry! They had holiday flavors, sugar cookie sleigh ride and candy cane lane. I was intrigued by the candy cane lane box, with its red and white candies adorning the box. I figured, where peppermint was currently my flavor or choice, this had to be a step up. So I threw the one lonely tea box into my cart and payed for my merchandise.

I made the tea as soon as I got home and I cannot even tell you how much I enjoyed that Christmasy goodness. I honestly think I was transported into a magical land of elves and pine trees and laughter. It was fantastic, so much that I had six cups that first night. The next day I came home to find the box almost empty. My husband had found a new favorite flavor as well.

I went to Target that afternoon to try and purchase another box. To my dismay, the little space on the shelf labelled "candy cane lane" was empty. After three other stores I had been met with the same site, all empty. I did try to drown my sorrows in a box of sugar cookie sleigh ride but it just wasn't the same (re: it was repulsive). I still have not been able to find a store that wasn't sold out of the flavor, and I probably will not be able to get it until next year unless I decide to buy it online (and yes, I have considered this, it's just about two dollars more than it is in the store, oh curse you)!

For Christmas, our family was met with several new flavors to try, including those of the fruit variety, some amazing vanilla recommended to us by a friend, and the classic earl grey I've been dying to try since it's what Captain Picard drinks and he is a badass. At this point I have no excuse to buy tea, at all, and the other day I did come home with a box of chai because we were out and my husband just hung his head. He knows I have a problem, or better yet, that we have a problem, and he understands my condition.

I've been getting better and my Tab is no longer neglected though I still am struggling with the fact that we had a tryst late one night that I am still not proud of. I have to find a balance in my life between the two because I completely cannot live without both, however I realize that if I want to wake up in the middle of the night and down some tea, it will not be as easy, since I will probably fall asleep before the water boils and then where would I be?

Tab, you have me there.