26 years young

via

Jim: What is that? It is your birthday, period.
Dwight: It’s a statement of fact
Jim: Not even an exclamation point?
Dwight: This is more professional. It’s not like she discovered a cure for cancer.
Jim: I can’t believe how bad this looks.
Dwight: Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Because if so, you are succeeding. Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man’s.
Jim: Okay, good then.

(The Office 5.14 - “Lecture Circuit Pt. 1”)

So, it's my birthay. I'm 26 today. I've made it this far. I feel like this will probably be a rather lengthy post of self-discovery so pull up a chair and grab a snuggie. Here we go.

I've been on this earth now 26 years and where at times I feel like I've conquered the world, sometimes I feel like the only successful thing I've done is keep TaB in business. I have a really amazing life and I'm truly blessed in every aspect. I have a husband that loves me and would do absolutely anything to make me happy, I couldn't be more grateful for him and all he does for me and for our family. I have two adorable doggies (when did I become a dog person again?) who piss me off and make me smile on a daily basis. I have a few fantastic friends, considering the awkward homebody that I am, and for that I am very thankful. I have a job, resources, the ability to laugh and sing, and family and friends that care about me, what more could I ask for? Nothing really. I'm in a good place for me, I really wouldn't change anything about my life if given the opportunity, however there are a few things I would change about myself.

I wish I could better control my emotions. I wish that I was more outgoing and less awkward when meeting new people and even hanging out with friends I have now. I aspire to have my ducks in a row more often than I do now. I've been the reliable friend and I've been the flaky friend and I sure prefer the former to the latter. I have not accomplished much in my short time here yet I feel like I have time and the means to do so much more in the future. This adventure that is life has so much in store for me and my family. It's really easy to get down when times get tough. I used to love the holidays, now I just find myself more annoyed with the aspect of shopping, wrapping, etc. I am not liking that. I really wish I could just shake off the small stuff and enjoy it, because before I know it Christmas will be gone and all I will have to show for it is expired gallons of eggnog.

I'm making a few resolutions for the new year. I am going to write more. Sorry to those who enjoy photos but I'm probably going to have more words than photos on this here blog, but like anyone, I still enjoy a pretty picture so they will still be present. I hope you'll still read. I know I am guilty of avoiding posts that are very wordy and end up just skimming them, so I'm also going to make an effort to read everything as well. I want to get out of my comfort zone more. I'm not sure what that means since I'm not the biggest fan of leaving my couch, but I have time to figure that out. I'm going to put more effort into understanding people because I think that will help me to understand myself. I am going to tell people "thank you" and "I love you" more than I do because it's deserved. Like Garth Brooks said, "If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I love her." I don't want anyone to not know how I feel about them.

I'm going to drink more tea and less coffee (Zack and I have become tea connoisseurs, we have about 20 boxes in our kitchen right now of different flavors). I'm going to eat more salads but not give up on the good stuff, just find more of a balance so my weight doesn't fluctuate between that 20 pounds (which at this point in time I'm trying to get rid of, Happy Holidays).

I'm really thankful to be here now, because there have honestly been times in my life when I didn't think I would make it this far. I'm happy I've kept pushing through all of the hard times. When I was in high school, or I think right after, I received some advice from my dad which has always stuck with me. I was having a rough time, God knows what was going on, and I was crying to my dad on the phone after a particularly rough day. He told me to "buck up" as he always says and then told me that if whatever was going on with me at that moment was the hardest thing that I ever had to endure that I was lucky. He told me that I would go through harder things than this, and I would get through it, just like I'd get through whatever was bugging me now. God only gives you trials He knows you can handle. That being said, every time something comes up I have to remind myself of that. Things can always get worse, life isn't that bad, there are so many bright spots that I may be missing.

I tend to get down on myself because I feel unaccomplished, but what really is success? Another thing my dad always said is that if you're happy with you're life then you are successful. So I guess with that definition than I am successful. So does that make me accomplished? I'm not sure, but I can figure that out.

Happy 26th Birthday to me, and happy 26 more years to go. This is going to be a good year, bring it on 2012. If the world is really going to end I better make it a fantastic year. Thank you to Zack for loving me, my family and friends for being there for me, and my doggies for learning how to pee outside. I'm more thankful for all of you than I'll ever be able to express, and if you read this entire thing I thank you. Here's to the new year.